ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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