We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
