my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
