dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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