Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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