did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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