their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
