I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
