When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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