Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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