Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
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i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize