she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
