mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just want to make out with him forever
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
