Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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