i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
