i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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