dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
