i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
