If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
