We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
