I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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