If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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