You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
