We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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