In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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