Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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