It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
