Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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