i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
