I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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