Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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