How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this will be a night to untag.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
