That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so let's talk penis.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
