epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
