Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
