it was like his penis was on wheels.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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