i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
