grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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