It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
