party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
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Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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