So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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