There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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