she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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