i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
