Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
