puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
