I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
