So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
