Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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