Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize