Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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