Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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