I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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