we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
