Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
