you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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