she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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