Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
where am i from again
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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