the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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