5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
