Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize