yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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