don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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