and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize