glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize