It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
