I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
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So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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